also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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