Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize