it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
