i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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