hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
