i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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