Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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