It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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