thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
