Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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