Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
