oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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