i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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