I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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