went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
