This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Couch. On fire.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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