nut hugger
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
