my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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