Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize