Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
