If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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