I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
