I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
