Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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