I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
