I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
