is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
