the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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