He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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