before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
