just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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