I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
