i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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