small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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