Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
