wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
