For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
