I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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