Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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