last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
