UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
