I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
