What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
3pm strippers are depressing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
