...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
