don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
