google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
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