i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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