Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
