So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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