you didnt know i had herpes?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think people are normalizing furries
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
