I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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