Everything about him screamed your future.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
