I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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