apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize