I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
