Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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