He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
