When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
